She was years younger than I am…
Our first meeting was quite unexpected; at first glance she was just an ordinary girl with a beautiful smile. Nevertheless, that smile just never caught my attention at first. She was indeed so ordinary in my eyes, yet there was just something about her that seemed somewhat captivating. I can still remember our very first conversation, it was somewhat awkward, and somehow I can tell that we were both still uncomfortable with each other. It was a random chance that we were able to finally connect with each other though not that much at the time being. Conversations were swift, yet so full of enthusiasm. At some point in time, I just suddenly felt an urge to want to know her a little better. I wanted to see her and so every time class ends I just did that. There are times I gain the chance to do see and even talk to her, but most of the time it just ends in vain. Communications between us were not very good and yes I was already finding it hard to reach her. At one point in time, I almost gave up hope of getting to her. Yet, for some reason I never did. Finally it hit me; yes maybe I was in love with her. It took me a while to admit it to myself to accept that fact, thus I muster as much strength and confidence as I can to tell her how I feel…
One afternoon outside her school I finally had that strength I was looking for. As I wait outside, hesitant I was. Then she came, we talk and that’s the time I’ve really first confessed to anyone. It was indeed an epic fail I can say. I’ve stumbled several time while telling her the things I want her to know, she fortunately listen but there is something quite unusual while I was at it. Perhaps maybe out of modesty did she try to consider me, but I know an inevitable misfortune will soon befall upon me. And how right my hunch was, it seems that there was someone or something else. I was crushed by that, and didn’t know what to do. But it seems that the proper and most logical way would only be acceptance…
Several times have passed, a day seems like months and each day I was lost. We haven’t been able to hear from each other for a while now, and soon I had finally been able to accept my bitter fate. It was probably better of that way I think. I know she’s happy with someone else and in sincerity all I’ve longed for was her happiness. Slowly the pain started to ease and finally I was back on being myself again.
It was yet again another random chance that brought us back together again. One unsuspecting night changes everything. She came unto me carrying a pain her man inflicted upon her. Bewildered I was, as deep inside I saw it as an opportunity for me to get her. Indeed it was a selfish thought I had, but in the end I’ve decided to do the right thing. I’ve tried everything that I can to fix her broken will through my words of encouragement. It was a hard thing for me to do, giving up the very person you love in exchange for her own happiness. It was painful smiling and saying “everything would work out for the both of you soon” or “I’ll try praying for the both of you to get better”. But in my mind, what I really feel doesn’t matter if she is not really happy. I’ve done everything I can and only time can tell what would become of them…
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