Throughout the years of me living in this world, I have stumbled upon different challenges. I have faced numerous adversaries that life has to offer. I've been through some of the worse case scenarios ranging from personal to family matters. Having experienced all of these made me realized that life really isn't just something that we should take for granted. Life is fast, short and stressful; one mistake can be lethal. You can never recover the time and effort lost while living life. It is not something that we write then erase whenever it went wrong nor something we can predict. It is indeed a complicated thing that each and everyone of us should respect and give value.
Unfortunately, I never found this out sooner thus I've learned all these the hard way. I grew up being dependent on the people surrounding me; family, friends and others. Whenever things go wrong there was always someone who would try and catch my fall. Years and years I've depended on them, making me feel that everything was assured for me. Man, how wrong I was...As it turns out, there is no such thing as "forever". Things come and go for various reasons. The friends you have now won't always be there by your side. Sooner or later, your parents will finally meet their fated end. Soon you'll be left alone with having only yourself to depend on. And it is in these facts that my greatest fear resides...
I am afraid of someday losing the ones I've loved.
I am afraid of continuing my life's journey without them.
I am afraid of facing the harsh realities of life.
Alas, my optimist mask is starting to wear off. As the days continue and my age increases, more and more do these fears become reality. My parents are already nearing their limit and my friends are now beginning to grow up from their old ways. On the other hand, what have I accomplished throughout my life? At my age I should already be out there in the battlefields of life. Instead, I'm still here stuck in my childhood fantasies of being untouchable from the terrors of life. I've been slacking off for way too long. I have let my emotions and desires control me. I've been a nothing but a failure...
I am an only son and eldest in the family. Automatically, I will have the burden of carrying the pride and name of the family. I know, my parents are expecting a lot from me, even other people as well. But to be honest, I think I'm incapable of being "great". I don't think I have enough ability and will to do so. Being situated in these circumstances calls upon me to be responsible and mature. Two things I've never really been good at...
I am envious of the people who are finally making a difference in their lives. Looking back, I've given up too many opportunities to become better. My parents didn't lacked any support for me nor did every instructors I've encountered. I really am good at making excuses for my shortcomings. I always try to blame someone or something for every mistakes I make. This is indeed the story of my life...
Yet, it is always never too late for everyone who possesses faith, will and determination. Time and time, I've observed and somehow proven this. I am also thinking that it may still not be too late for me. I still have everyone I loved with me; my family, my friends and others. My age may still be worthy of aspiring for something great. My dream, to write to my heart's content for the sake of everyone may still be fulfilled
Experience is indeed the best teacher. The mistakes I made, doubts I have and fears I hate can be used for the betterment of myself. Right, I can still do this. Faith, will and determination shall be my arsenal to combat my failures.
Life maybe hard but we must all remember that this privilege will never come cheap! :-)
-Alvin Reyes, 01-30-11
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